Surf, sun, sand, and... shoes? A litany of idiocy.

June 10, 2012

Holy cow! Let me begin by saying THANK GOD I AM HOME. Today was a very fun and busy day but I am an exhausted lump. Kathy (Scott's Mom) once said that "A Big Mac Attack takes on a new meaning when you have to walk half a mile to the bus stop, catch the bus and ride for 15 minutes, get off, walk to the McDonald's, eat, then back tot he stop, wait up to 30 minutes to catch the bus, then walk half a mile back home." I can honestly say I understand what she is saying now. I am breaking this blog into 2 parts because it is going to be so big because of all the pictures and videos. I will also post the videos to YouTube.

After catching up with folks at home for a bit this morning (Congrats Jeff on finding the house - I am crossing everything possible that they accept the offer!) I set off on the #3 bus to Ala Moana Center. Hooray for the bus pass! I had mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Lisa drove me through Magic Beach park and I wanted to go back sometime. So today seemed like a good time to do so. I unfortunately got off a few stops early and had to walk about 5 blocks till I found it, but that was ok. I passed the Yacht Club and took a few pictures.

I had slathered waterproof SPF 75 sunblock on liberally and figured I could spend a couple of hours there in the ocean and beach before I started getting crispy. My goal was to swim and play in the water as long as possible, then get out and do a cursory dry off before getting dressed and going to Ala Moana before they closed at 6. I had no intention of sunbathing despite my fluorescent white skin  because I am a walking sunburn waiting to happen. I have no desire to be "People Bacon" as Frothy the Squirrel so eloquently describes. If you haven't been introduced to Frothy then click the link. You may have to play it a few times because the cartoon critter speaks very fast. If you want a few more chuckles also do a search on "Kavorkian Scarf".

So anyway, I am at the beach and couldn't resist taking some pictures and video. This may be boring to folks but I was enjoying it, so here you go. Don't you love the sun rays in the second photo? It really is Magic Beach. There is a coral reef a ways out that protects this bit of beach, so it keeps the undertow to a minimum and makes it safer for kids and people alone like me. Also, they have lifeguards. I can swim, but it pays to be safe. It also gets deeper very gradually. I had to go out a fair way before I couldn't touch bottom. Also, it is so clear you can see your feet on the bottom even when the water is up to your chin. Awesome.

Here are the videos linked from YouTube. And yes, the lifeguards use surfboards to save people.

After that I began to compile and compound my series of idiotic choices for the day.

Idiotic idea #1: I had worn my sandals because with the soles falling off my tennis shoes and the holes in the bottoms it was stupid to wear them to the beach. After the walk to the bus stop, then the 5 block hike my blistered and torn up feet were getting tender but ok. However, I didn't think that after being in the water for so long they would be pruney and the skin very delicate for further abuse. A problem? Oh yeah... read on...

Idiotic idea #2: So, after playing in the water for a couple of hours I pull my shorts on over by swim bottoms, and tie on my sarong over my tankini top and slip on my sandals and head to Ala Moana Center. I figured, "Hey, I'll dry in no time..." Uh huh. What happens here is that my shorts and sarong get wet and since I am walking inside they stay that way for hours. Then for the rest of my day as I walk around. Can we say CHAFED?!?! Ouch. Luckily just my inner thighs, but still. Freaking stupid of me.

Idiotic idea #3: So I walk to Ala Moana Center as I said and am looking for a store selling shoes. I figured I'd go to Macy's, Sears or something and find a decent pair of tennis shoes since I am walking so much here. (Honestly, I was going to go to Wal-Mart and get a cheapie pair but then I thought about it and decided that was dumb. I am walking for HOURS multiple days a week, and would walk more if I had decent shoes.) So I figured a good pair was worth it and set out to find some. I looked and looked but couldn't find any that weren't either over $150.00 or not at all my style or of any interest to me. I hadn't quite realized that Ala Moana Center was a mall where all the crazy rich people shop! Diamonds, jewelry, designer stores like: Hollister, Dior, Polo/Ralph Lauren, Cartier, Bvlgari, Jimmy Choo, etc. Suffice to say me (being poor) walked around in a state of drooling awe. I honestly felt no desire to buy anything, other than in the Pandora store.

However, I managed to find a Sketcher's store and looked inside for shoes. Sketchers are a good brand and I found a very nice pair of walking/running shoes for $55.00. I about dies since I don't think I've ever paid $55 for a pair of tennis shoes, but they felt GREAT on my feet and I really really needed them. Here is the link so you can see them better than my not great photo. They came with white and blue laces, so I have an extra pair :) Also a nifty carry bag, which is handy while I am here.

Idiotic idea #4: So I am in Sketcher's, in this ritzy mall, and sit down to try on these shoes. I'm all wet and squishy so I'm getting the bench all wet (luckily it is not fabric) and I lift my leg to put on the little footie sock and sand starts falling EVERYWHERE. The back of my legs, ankles and sandals were covered with dried sand. So here I sit, squishing, with literal scattered sand all around me on this black tile floor. It was like a comedy of errors. Sheesh. Can you tell I'm not from around sand??? The sales people were grinning like crazy and laughing with me. We all had some chuckles... you couldn't do anything but laugh. They brought out a broom and dustpan and swept up around me. Yeesh, I felt like a sand yeti.

Idiotic idea #5: So anyway, I got my shoes and headed out. I figured I'd walk to the street the bus dropped me off on and I could catch it there again. Wrong. It was going the wrong way. OOOOKKK. So I started walking towards Waikiki thinking I'd run into a bus stop, yeah? Wrong. So I'm walking and walking, still in my sandals because I don't have socks for my new shoes. And I realize I'm clueless as to where to find a bus stop to get me home, and my feet are bleeding from multiple areas. So I find some shade and stop. I try to look up some directions on my phone and can only get directions to walk or drive. I don't WANT to walk and am not driving, I want to take the BUS. Why can I get google maps with BUS directions from my laptop but not my phone?!?!? I finally break down and message Scott at 6pm, midnight his time, and wake him up to help me get directions to a freaking bus stop. (Note to self, look up RETURN directions before leaving home, not just directions to get somewhere. ) Feel like an idiot much? Yessirree.

Idiotic idea #6: As we are trying to figure out where the hell I AM and where the hell I need to GO to catch the elusive bus I am walking. Feet still bleeding and hurting, getting crispier by the minute because I hadn't reapplied the sunscreen I brought with me to the beach after I left the water. I figured, I'll be inside shopping, then on the bus... not int he sun... I am a moron. However, I am somewhat lucky that I try to stay in the shade so managed not to get too burned. Still not smart though.

So I'm trying to find my way to a major street so we can find me a bus that can take me home and lo and behold, I stumble upon.... a parade. I kid you not. So... the streets are blocked off to traffic. So no buses running. I give into the inevitability of fate and decide to stay and watch the parade and at least enjoy being out and about. There is nowhere to sit so I get to stand on pavement. At this point my feet are a lost cause, and the feeling of spikes being jammed into my spine is becoming the norm for this jaunt, so I just ignore it and enjoy the parade. The photos and videos from that will be in Part II of today's blog because there is so much.

The parade ends, I call Scott back and he helps me find a bus stop for the #23 bus a block away. Thank god again for the bus pass! I have seriously got to figure out how to find this on my phone. So I thank him profusely and send him back to sleep, catch my bus and ride to my stop. Which is of course about 4 blocks from my home. Including a hill. At this point I'm just giggling like a crazy woman, because I just have to laugh. I'm hiking across KCC campus, up the hill, shuffling my feet like an old crippled lady, giggling with tears of mirth running down my face. One of the KCC security guys in a golf cart stops to ask if I am ok and I set his mind at easy. I ask if he can give me a lift in the cart to the KCC gate across from my house but he can't. Of course. So off I trudge. I finally make it home and just drop everything on my bed and grab my towel. I go get in the shower and strip off all my salt encrusted, still damp, shorts, sarong and tankini top and shorts in the shower under the running water. I scrub myself clean of salt and sand (FINALLY), rinse everything out, hang it to dry, and get everything put away.

Idiotic idea #7: I am STARVING. I didn't have enough money to get my shoes AND food, so I'm about to chew my own arm off. I didn't think I'd be gone more that 3 hours so I didn't eat before I left home. It is almost 9pm and somebody in this house is making bacon. I fear for their well being. Before I post the parade pics I'm going to find some food before I go primal on my housemates and steal their bacon. So I was an idiot for not eating first of all, and again for not eating before I started posting this blog.

So that is it for this part. I seriously need to find and insert my brain before tomorrow, when I plan to go out walking and do more exploring. After eating something. With sunscreen. In dry clothing. Wearing good shoes. Knowing how to find a bus home.

Aloha lolo no au keia la, (Goodbye, I am feebleminded today)
~Melissa